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lavender

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Lao Buddhist funeral (what to expect)?
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I grew up in U S A I have gone to 2 Laotian funerals I was quite confused before the day of the funeral I noticed that people constantly comes to the house of the decease  not only to pay their respect,but they also stayed there for food, drinks,and playing cards (gambling) until late at night. Inside the house it was noisy with laughter, and some singing. I thought to myself am I here to celebrate the death of this family's love one? or to pay my condolence, and to comfort a living family. I'm not talking about a day of visitation at the house,but at least 2 to 3 days of the visits if it's in America. Someone had told me in Laos this carries on for a week long. I felt bad for the decease's family not only that they have the responsibility for funeral arrangements ,but also be a host at their house for days yet, and that's not include a wake,and after a funeral.  My concern for this  family is  they had so much to deal with before they even get to mourn for their love one that has just past. I wonder, who came up with this kind of rule? it needs to be rewritten. There are so many things that's going on at the funeral that aren't clear to me. At the funeral one of the adults told the decease's son to pres button for his dad's cascade  for the cremation process with no explanation of why he was chosen to do this so that it would be more meaningful to him. He looked sad and confused. I hoped for anyone who read this could give me some insight about Lao Buddhist Funeral.   Thank you


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Anonymous

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-Traditionally , don't kill any animal to cook during the funeral
-people come to the funeral don't bring any foods away during the funeral
-don't turn loud, music and dance and singing, i mean a kind of entertainment during the funeral ,you can do that after cremation or burred.
-Normally, the body would keep 2-4 days in the house before cremation ( confortable death or Tai mee heng)
-the body can't be kept in the house if the death is suddenly or accidently death.in the buddhist funeral, the body must keep in the temple and must be burried  as soon as possible.
-Tradionally, the people who come to the funeral will stay over night to keep the cousin of death person a company, Normally playing card, Watching vedio and chilling during the night.
-People who come to funeral, normally they will offer some money,some rice with  Thoup, Tian and flowers to show death respect, it;s called '' Kin tan'' in Lao language ( eat and offer in english),after the funeral over, those money and stuffs will belong to relatives, parents of the death person.
-in the buddhist, the relatives, friends  of death person  will be the monk or nun in a day of cremation.
-afterward, it's time to collect the bones in the cemetary and put into Cinerary urn and move it to the small stupa in the temple, this rule must to invite the monks to pray in order to invite the soul of death person to the urn in the stupa . this process, as far as i know  it can be hold after the funeral or can be hold later depends on the economic and condition of relatives.

i am confused to what I wrote, i might be wrong haha


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Anonymous wrote:

-Traditionally , don't kill any animal to cook during the funeral

-people come to the funeral don't bring any foods away during the funeral
-don't turn loud, music and dance and singing, i mean a kind of entertainment during the funeral ,you can do that after cremation or burred.
-Normally, the body would keep 2-4 days in the house before cremation ( confortable death or Tai mee heng)
-the body can't be kept in the house if the death is suddenly or accidently death.in the buddhist funeral, the body must keep in the temple and must be burried  as soon as possible.
-Tradionally, the people who come to the funeral will stay over night to keep the cousin of death person a company, Normally playing card, Watching vedio and chilling during the night.
-People who come to funeral, normally they will offer some money,some rice with  Thoup, Tian and flowers to show death respect, it;s called '' Kin tan'' in Lao language ( eat and offer in english),after the funeral over, those money and stuffs will belong to relatives, parents of the death person.
-in the buddhist, the relatives, friends  of death person  will be the monk or nun in a day of cremation.
-afterward, it's time to collect the bones in the cemetary and put into Cinerary urn and move it to the small stupa in the temple, this rule must to invite the monks to pray in order to invite the soul of death person to the urn in the stupa . this process, as far as i know  it can be hold after the funeral or can be hold later depends on the economic and condition of relatives.

i am confused to what I wrote, i might be wrong haha

 



Noooooooooooooops,
it's not full, but very useful. thanks for sharing !

 



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Anonymous

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I do not know a lot about where and how lao people got the funeral ceremony from. Personally, I think is unnecessary and it's not the way suppose to be. We are lao people take it too far, spend much money and do it in the wrong way. A practised in many Buddhist countries, a real Buddhist funeral is a simple, solemn and dignified ceremony. Unfortunately, some people have included many unnecessary, extraneous items and superstitious practices into the funeral rites. The extraneous items and practices vary according to the traditions and customs of the people. They were introduced in olden days by people who probably could not understand the nature of life, nature of death, and what life would be after death. When such ideas were incorporated into Buddhist practices, people tended to blame Buddhism for expensive funeral rites. If only the Buddhist public would approach proper persons who have studied the real Teachings of the Buddha and Buddhist tradition, they could receive advice on how to perform Buddhist funeral rites. It is most unfortunate that a bad impression has been created that Buddhism encourages people to waste their money and time on unnecessary practices. It must be clearly understood that Buddhism has nothing to do with that. Most of lao people can't disthinguish between traditions and religion.  Lao people are buddhist,but they do not know a lot about buddhism. WAT Lao when they have Boun or some kind of activities in the temple a lot of times are Heed Sib song. However the real teaching of buddha people not really know about. So the lao funeral that you saw or have been to is just lao tradition.  There are many good things about lao traditions and bad things too.  My point here is to do what you think is right.


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Anonymous

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lavender wrote:

I grew up in U S A I have gone to 2 Laotian funerals I was quite confused before the day of the funeral I noticed that people constantly comes to the house of the decease  not only to pay their respect,but they also stayed there for food, drinks,and playing cards (gambling) until late at night. Inside the house it was noisy with laughter, and some singing. I thought to myself am I here to celebrate the death of this family's love one? or to pay my condolence, and to comfort a living family. I'm not talking about a day of visitation at the house,but at least 2 to 3 days of the visits if it's in America. Someone had told me in Laos this carries on for a week long. I felt bad for the decease's family not only that they have the responsibility for funeral arrangements ,but also be a host at their house for days yet, and that's not include a wake,and after a funeral.  My concern for this  family is  they had so much to deal with before they even get to mourn for their love one that has just past. I wonder, who came up with this kind of rule? it needs to be rewritten. There are so many things that's going on at the funeral that aren't clear to me. At the funeral one of the adults told the decease's son to pres button for his dad's cascade  for the cremation process with no explanation of why he was chosen to do this so that it would be more meaningful to him. He looked sad and confused. I hoped for anyone who read this could give me some insight about Lao Buddhist Funeral.   Thank you




First- Are you Khone Lao? if you are then where have you been? Why are you not familiar with the lao culture and custom?

Second-If you are a FARANG, this is how we roll. Get use to it and remember it.

 



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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

When such ideas were incorporated into Buddhist practices, people tended to blame Buddhism for expensive funeral rites. If only the Buddhist public would approach proper persons who have studied the real Teachings of the Buddha and Buddhist tradition, they could receive advice on how to perform Buddhist funeral rites. It is most unfortunate that a bad impression has been created that Buddhism encourages people to waste their money and time on unnecessary practices. It must be clearly understood that Buddhism has nothing to do with that. Most of lao people can't disthinguish between traditions and religion.  Lao people are buddhist,but they do not know a lot about buddhism.




APPLAUSE! You have said it so well! It's quite interesting how many people follow their religion (not just Buddhism, but other religions too) without much understanding of it. Even some of the monks can't really explain much or accurately about Dhamma, although it could be due to the lack of senior monks to teach them.

 



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Lavender

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Anonymous wrote:

 

lavender wrote:

I grew up in U S A I have gone to 2 Laotian funerals I was quite confused before the day of the funeral I noticed that people constantly comes to the house of the decease  not only to pay their respect,but they also stayed there for food, drinks,and playing cards (gambling) until late at night. Inside the house it was noisy with laughter, and some singing. I thought to myself am I here to celebrate the death of this family's love one? or to pay my condolence, and to comfort a living family. I'm not talking about a day of visitation at the house,but at least 2 to 3 days of the visits if it's in America. Someone had told me in Laos this carries on for a week long. I felt bad for the decease's family not only that they have the responsibility for funeral arrangements ,but also be a host at their house for days yet, and that's not include a wake,and after a funeral.  My concern for this  family is  they had so much to deal with before they even get to mourn for their love one that has just past. I wonder, who came up with this kind of rule? it needs to be rewritten. There are so many things that's going on at the funeral that aren't clear to me. At the funeral one of the adults told the decease's son to pres button for his dad's cascade  for the cremation process with no explanation of why he was chosen to do this so that it would be more meaningful to him. He looked sad and confused. I hoped for anyone who read this could give me some insight about Lao Buddhist Funeral.   Thank you




First- Are you Khone Lao? if you are then where have you been? Why are you not familiar with the lao culture and custom?

Second-If you are a FARANG, this is how we roll. Get use to it and remember it.

 

 



Yes, I'm Laotian 100% and I'm Buddhist 100% I'm very familiar with our culture&costume

that doesn't mean I'm knowledgeable about Lao funeral especially I've only went to 2 of them. Even the adults and elderlies there were not even sure what they were doing. They can't even explain all things that I asked them about , Lao have beautyfull culture ,and if you wanted to teach Farang about our culture you should do it properly not in such an erigen maner such as (this is how we roll,get use to it and remember ). This makes you look retarded and uneducated



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Anonymous

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Guru

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Watches are a beautiful thing. Certainly, they tell us the time - but aren't they so much more than that? replicas watches Through their watches, a person can express so much, and in a way it could be said:replicas watches Show me your watch and I'll tell you who you are.


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A Person Who is Not Laotian

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Well said, and it is good that you are 100% Laotian so that you can answer this question without it becoming a race issue. However, I wonder why the nationality of the person asking and making judgements about Laos Funerals is important. Are people outside of a given culture forbidden from questioning it? This seems like a barrier to understanding and hence a source for resentment and unhealthy separation.

I am a white American. I am thankful that my Laotian friends and family are cool with me asking any questions I want to about their culture. Some people haven't answered questions because they don't know the answer, but none have ever said "This is how we roll. Get used to it and remember it". It is a hyper-sensitive, ignorant answer wrapped in arrogance.

Anyway, thank you for your questions about Laotian funerals as I have observed similar things as you and have also been confused. The answers given here are useful. I have noticed that a lot of big events are this way in Laos. Not just funerals. It is not about Buddhism, but about community and tradition. From my perspective as an outsider, communities in Laos look really tight, so when everyone comes over it is a comfort to the family and a sign of respect and love for the deceased.



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Anonymous

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"This is how we roll"  ?? Don't be so clannish and disrespectful. The person you responded to in this manner had several legitimate questions. Your answer is not acceptable.



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Anonymous

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lavender wrote:

I grew up in U S A I have gone to 2 Laotian funerals I was quite confused before the day of the funeral I noticed that people constantly comes to the house of the decease  not only to pay their respect,but they also stayed there for food, drinks,and playing cards (gambling) until late at night. Inside the house it was noisy with laughter, and some singing. I thought to myself am I here to celebrate the death of this family's love one? or to pay my condolence, and to comfort a living family. I'm not talking about a day of visitation at the house,but at least 2 to 3 days of the visits if it's in America. Someone had told me in Laos this carries on for a week long. I felt bad for the decease's family not only that they have the responsibility for funeral arrangements ,but also be a host at their house for days yet, and that's not include a wake,and after a funeral.  My concern for this  family is  they had so much to deal with before they even get to mourn for their love one that has just past. I wonder, who came up with this kind of rule? it needs to be rewritten. There are so many things that's going on at the funeral that aren't clear to me. At the funeral one of the adults told the decease's son to pres button for his dad's cascade  for the cremation process with no explanation of why he was chosen to do this so that it would be more meaningful to him. He looked sad and confused. I hoped for anyone who read this could give me some insight about Lao Buddhist Funeral.   Thank you


 Have you ever seen Chinese and Korean funerals ? if you don't , please don't be so critical about your own cultures.



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Anonymous

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 Why people are still f-ucking talking about the same old god damn subject that have been expired since the turn of a century!

Are you that damn lazy to think of a new question!?



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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

 Why people are still f-ucking talking about the same old god damn subject that have been expired since the turn of a century!

Are you that damn lazy to think of a new question!?


 Why the hell RU fussy about ? if you don't like it just fuking move away from the topic you idiot. its free country isn't it  you dumassssssssss ?



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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

 Why people are still f-ucking talking about the same old god damn subject that have been expired since the turn of a century!

Are you that damn lazy to think of a new question!?


 Why the hell RU fussy about ? if you don't like it just fuking move away from the topic you idiot. its free country isn't it  you dumassssssssss ?


 The only DUMB@SS is YOU **** *******! You can't even spell DUMB@SS!!!biggrinbleh



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Anonymous

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How is it being critical about your culture to ask about your traditions? Following traditions for sake of tradition is doing your culture and family no justice. Why cut the bottom off of the ham if you don't know why? Well it's because mom always did it that way. Going to grandma, why do you always cut off the bottom of the ham. It's because mom always did it that way. Going to great grandma.... why do you cut off the bottom of the ham. Oh, it was so it could fit into my pan. Oh.... so it doesn't REALLY make sense to do it anymore. Asking questions isn't a bad thing, wanting to know more isn't a bad thing - teaching people to accept and just follow is ignorant.



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Anonymous

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Basically it's for the Lao community To pay respect to the family and the one that was lost.  It's a way for the family to have comfort and why would anyone want to be lonely? Plus it's a Lao way to send the person who pass away off to their journey & be free.



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Anonymous

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Point taken very well.  Can I please get your help on how to obtain the "heed sip song" book?

I have search everywhere but not yet found.  I would like to expand my own personal knowledge.

ann.myway@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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